How to Pee Standing Up: A Female Traveler’s Guide

Men and women are not created equal; this stands out more when traveling and needing a pee stop.
Men have it easy. They can pee anywhere- behind a tree or a post, or even without a cover. Alas, women must sit down and squat to avoid a flood running down their legs. Sometimes sitting down is not just possible, especially if there are no restrooms and all you have is the bushes and open spaces.

I know it’s terrible for the kidneys, but I always try to postpone restroom stops for as long as I can, most especially in countries where nasty public restrooms will haunt you and give you the most vivid memories for years to come.

Pee funnel pack


A few months back, I booked back-to-back trips to four Southeast Asian countries where squat toilets are common unless you check into modern hotels and buildings with sit-down, modern-style toilets.

Most of the trip included long drives on the road, so I didn’t particularly look forward to the restroom stops along the way. I browsed online for a solution and came up with a new travel mate- a female urination device or the female pee funnel. I got a pack from Amazon, which consisted of two lavender funnels that promise to be discreet, reusable, and designed not to spill, splash or flow back. They cost like $6 each.

Peeing Practice

 

I read the reviews online. While some said it worked perfectly for them, other comments were funny. One said she created a mess and drenched her jeans, while another said it was so soft that she peed in her hands.

I had to try it for myself just in case I needed to use it. One suggested trying it while you’re in the shower, which was what I did. Or tried to do. Hold the funnel as close as possible to your body, then let go. I tried and failed. Somehow, I couldn’t pee standing up, even in the shower. I just prayed I wouldn’t have to use it during my trip.

Luckily, I didn’t see the need because my travel buddy and I booked private tours. We had access to cleaner restrooms along the way, so I buried my funnels at the bottom of my luggage.

Bladder Emergency

 

There was no need for it until one day when I was covered in layers of clothing underneath snowsuit overalls in the Himalayan mountains. And then I felt the need to pee. I’ll leave you to imagine my agony. It was a squat toilet, and only those females who have tried to pee while wearing jumpers or overalls will understand. I almost gave in to the temptation of peeing in my overalls and then rolling in the snow to get wet as a cover. However, that was out of the question because we had to return the rented snowsuits on the way back for others to rent.

I almost didn’t make it, but I got out of the suit quickly. How I wished then that I had mastered using the funnel.

The pee funnels are available in various colors and brands, disposable, washable, and reusable. The female funnel had become popular in the 90s with female backpackers, campers, long-distance travelers, and outdoor gatherings. My funnels are still unused, and I hope I never have to use them.

For more travel adventures and tips, check https://scramblednotes.com.

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